Broken Heart

Tyler's girlfriend dumped him!!! Can you believe it?? I knew it would happen, but as an over protective momma I wanted to call her and give her a piece of my mind. Did I you ask? No, I didn't. This is the girl that Tyler worked so hard to get a nice necklace for. He talked to her on the phone several times a day. Why did she break up with him? Well, she said he didn't talk to her enough. Are you kidding me? We had to make him get off of the phone.

Anyway, I'm kind of glad this has happened. He was getting very consumed with this girl. It did break my heart to see him hurting. That bothered me so much more than the fact that she broke up with him. I love him so much and this was the first time he actually cried over a girl. There's nothing like feeling that overprotective instinct rise up inside of you. I told him that we loved him and to just let it go.

The next day, all was fine! Thank goodness he's not into something too serious.

He's done!!!

We brought Brayden to the surgery center this morning at 8:00. His surgery was scheduled for 9:15. At 8:45 they took him back to pre-op holding. He was very nervous. He asked if they could put his IV in after he was asleep. Of course he is too old for that so the nurse said no. He then got a shot of versed. He started crying after that. He cried very hard until they took him for the surgery. After about an hour and 15 minutes, the doctor came out to talk to us. He was successful in finding the cyst and removing it. He said his tonsils were enormous. He also said that he barely had any adenoid tissue. All in all it was a huge success. We got to see him after about an hour. He does have a JP drain coming out of his neck. He will have it a day or two. We are staying overnight in the surgery center in case Bray has any breathing difficulty.

I want to tell you how this time has blessed me so much. Brayden continually asked for us to pray over him. Each time my heart was full of pride because he loves our Father in heaven so much. He called Carri and asked her to pray with him a couple of times. How sweet he is.

So I'm a little nervous

Tomorrow is the big day. What day you might ask? Brayden will have surgery tomorrow to remove the cyst he has in his neck. He will also have his tonisils and such out. The name of the cyst is thyroglossal duct cyst. If you want to read about this type of cyst you can go to this link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thyroglossal_cyst. It is a fairly rare type of cyst. We go to the doctor today at 3:00 to find out what time his surgery will be and where it will be. We were told he would have to stay overnight.

I would like to ask for everyone's prayers during this time. Please pray for the surgeons, the nurses, the hospital staff, and anyone else who will be taking care of Brayden. Please pray for Brayden's quick recovery. Please pray for our family. Pray that we will have peace during this time, and pray for our patience as Brayden recovers.

We love each of you dearly. I will post pics and updates in the next few days of Brayden.

He's growing up so fast

Well for those of you who don't read facebook I thought I would post here as well.

On Saturday we set out to find the perfect necklace for Tyler's "girlfriend." We went to 4 different stores and ended up at James Avery. Tyler was very diligent about picking this necklace out. He got one that has 2 interlocking hearts. It is a beautiful necklace for a teenage girl. We had to discuss the cost and how he was going to pay us back. He is such a sweet boy.

Saturday Quentin bought Tyler his first razor and can of shaving cream. We then all stood in the bathroom as Quentin taught Tyler how to shave. I wanted to take pictures, but Tyler and his Daddy didn't think that would be very cool. He only shaved his mustache. This is such a huge step in a young man's life. He is growing up so fast. He looks different without the hair in the corners of his mouth. He is so handsome. Any way this was such a big deal for Quentin and Tyler.

We are so proud of you Tyler!!!!

Major events

Hey friends.....

Well it's been a long time since I have posted and several things have happened.

First of all, I had gastric bypass surgery on November 10th. Wow, I've already lost 31 pounds. I can't believe it. It's nice to see the weight come off, but it has by no means been easy. I have had many hurdles to overcome. I have started a separate blog to detail my journey in this weight loss. It's called My Personal Battleground. I started it a week or so after my surgery and have been documenting my hospital stay, weight loss, and emotional battles that I've gone through. I have it set to private because I am talking about my weight and I think that is a very personal subject. If you would like to read it, email me and I will give you access. I just don't want any and everybody out in blogger world to be able to read it. My email address is brownaq@aol.com. I am very excited about the changes in my body and I can't wait to see what is to come.

Secondly, my sister moved out yesterday. It wasn't pleasant and I hate that she left on the terms that she did, but it is what it is. I do have to say that it was nice to just have my family at home last night. All of the boys were excited to be able to sit around in their underwear if they wanted to. I love my sister and her boys dearly, but she really needs help that I can't give her. Maybe someday she will see that everyone is not out to get her and that we truly love her.

Lastly, we finished up football season and started basketball. It is a never ending cycle of sports. I guess that is what happens at this age. We love it and can't wait for every single game.

I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving. Happy Christmas shopping. I myself have only done a little bit.

I hope each of you have a blessed day. Love you all.

Let's Stand

I have felt led this morning to just pray and speak blessings over our great country this morning. I have asked that God call out his people to vote today in this historic election. I know that no matter what happens today, it will all be part of the greater plan that He has for us. I just encourage each and every one of you to pray over your ballot and decisions. I ask that you seek God's guidance in making your decisions and then vote the way he leads you. I ask that we all be diligent tonight in praying for our country. As Christians we will stand together and face tomorrow with the promise of our God's love and grace. I praise Him daily for giving me the freedoms that I have and allowing me to serve Him. GET OUT AND VOTE!!!!!!!!

Finally a date......

Well many of you know that I have been trying for over a year to get approved for gastric bypass surgery. Guess what.....I'm approved. Yeah!!!! Last week my insurance company denied my request due to me breast feeding 3 years ago and losing weight. My doctor appealed that yesterday. I talked to his office at 11:33 yesterday and they were about to get on the call with the insurance company. At 11:40 they called back and the ruling had been overturned. Praise God. I had already decided that if I wasn't approved then it was God's will and I would deal with it. So after telling me that I was approved Sandra said that we could schedule my surgery for November 5th. NOVEMBER 5TH???? That's just next week. I asked if they had anything else open and she said November 10th. I took that date. So, I will be having surgery on November 10th!!!! I am so excited and so nervous. It has started to hit me that I will be missing Thanksgiving dinner, Christmas dinner, and various other things. I'm okay with that. This is something that I've wanted for 2 years and it's going to be a reality in less than 2 weeks. Wow!!!! I will ask for support from everyone. I know I will need the encouragement. We went to dinner with friends last night to celebrate. We won't be going to dinner again for awhile so we thought we should get it over with. I will start my pre-surgery diet this weekend and get ready for the big day. Praise you Father for giving me this opportunity and I will give it my all. Thank you friends for being there for us. We appreciate each and everyone of you.

Sean's Questions

Sean is too funny. It seems like daily we have the following conversation:

Sean: Are you my Mommy?
Me: Yes, Sean I'm your Mommy.

Sean: Are you MY Mommy?
Me: Yes honey, I'm your Mommy.

Sean: Are you being nice?
Me: Yes Sean, I'm being nice

So he asks this about 30 times a day!!!! Too, cute. You just have to love those sweet little boys.

Do you have a minute?

This has been one of the most emotional days that I have had in a while. I was sick yesterday and I didn't go to work. Many of you know about the uncertainty that I have been experiencing with the company that I work for. So I walk in the door at work this morning and go to my desk. I log on to my computer and then wait. About that time, my boss calls me in his office. We start off by talking about me being sick yesterday, it then proceeds to the latest news about our company. We have just been bought.....again. Let me just say that this has been one of the most stressful things in my life for the past year and a half. I am almost numb because of all the drama surrounding our company. Nothing prepared me for the next major event of the day. One of the guys I work for came in the office and visited with my boss behind closed doors (which hasn't been anything out of the ordinary with everything else that has gone on). When he comes out he asks me if I have a minute to visit. When I walked into his office I notice that some of his furniture is gone and his pictures are off the wall. I can't believe what is about to happen. He tells me that he has just resigned. WHAT???? This is a person who I have grown to really respect and admire. We have truly become great friends. We have talked about our spiritual lives as well as family lives. We have made a connection after almost 11 years of working together. As he is telling me everything, I just break down when I tell him I truly appreciate the fact that we have grown so much closer. I talked about how it was hard at first, but we have grown close. He told me that it was the Holy Spirit moving through us and fostering our friendship. He has really made me think about things in my spiritual life and I felt like I could go to him with anything. He has given us so many things for my nephews when we needed it the most. He has listened to me complain about work. He has listened to me share stories of my kids and I have enjoyed listening to him talk about his kids. We have come a long way as friends. I cried off and on all day. I realize that God puts people in our lives for a reason and my friend filled his purpose and now is gone. I know we will stay in touch, but it will be on such a different level. Thank you for becoming such a good friend. I will miss you terribly. Who's gonna keep me on my toes and make me laugh? I will be calling you. You aren't getting rid of my okay. Love ya friend.

Pictures Finally!!!!

So I finally decided to add some pictures to my blog. Here are pictures of the boys. Now I guess I'll have to dig the camera out and start taking more pictures.

Brayden

I wanted this entire post to be about Brayden. Brayden is my sweet middle child. He is the most loving, caring, and helpful child that I know. He tries so hard to do what is right even though it doesn't alrways turn out that way. Brayden was diagnosed with ADHD and Disruptive Behavior Disorder. We had Brayden's ARD meeting at school this last week. He is no longer part of the 504 program. Yeah Brayden. Academically Brayden is on track with everything. Of course he's not at the top of the scale nor is he at the bottom. He's right where he fits...in the middle. Brayden always finds himself in the middle. He's always in the middle of other people's business, he's always in the middle of fights, and he's always in the middle of hard work. God absolutely knew where to put Brayden in our family...in the middle. Brayden is known for ear hustling (as his Daddy would say). Brayden has been so proud of himself for memorizing the name of the cysts that he will have removed from his throat/neck in December. I have a hard time remembering the names. (Thyroglossal duct cyst, brachial cleft cyst) Whew those are some long names. I'm so proud of the person that Brayden is becoming. I love him dearly and hope that as a parent I don't over look my middle child. I love you Bray!!!

Thank you Father!

I just want to give praise to my Heavenly Father today for teaching me a valuable lesson. He taught me today that I needed to place ALL of my trust in Him and Him alone. He taught me that when He tells me to do something that He means it. He taught me that He loves me and will provide for my every need and not my wants. He taught me to have faith. He taught me that he can wipe my slate clean and give me a fresh start and then it's my choice on how I proceed. Thank you Father God. I will do my best to make you proud. You gave me no other choice than to look to you and I am thankful for that. I forget so many times that you are in control and I'm not. I need those reminders. Praise You!

Seeking Guidance From Above

Well, so much has happened over the past week or two. I haven't had time to sit down and post anything so I decided that I would do it right now while I had a minute.

1. Shena, Jaelun, and Jorden have arrived back at our house. We got a call at 3:00 am (that's right 3:00 am) on Monday. It was Shena. She had run out of gas on the far side of Bushland near the rest stop. So I wake Quentin up and off we go. We got them filled up with gas and back home we went. So you might ask what guidance we need.....

A. We need guidance from above on how to handle this situation in the most loving and caring way that we can. We love Shena and the boys and want nothing more than to see them taken care of.

B. Financially we are not in the position to support them right now. Shena has had an interview and hopefully will start working next week.

C. We need to heal this relationship. We need to mend the trust issues and the hurt feelings in this relationship. We love each other dearly and want nothing more than to become the sisters to each other that we've always wanted.

2. My second issue that I am seeking guidance for is my role at church.

A. Keri called me to ask if I wanted to teach upstairs. UPSTAIRS????? I have wanted to do this, but was really intimidated by the thought of actually teaching kids who might actually ask me a question. Well this is my opportunity to step out of my comfort zone and dive in. I have to say that I'm really excited and I can't wait to see what God has in store for me. I know that this will be a huge blessing to me. I'm scared to death!!!!

B. I have felt very led to pursue some type of volunteer activity out in the community. I want to go out and share the love I feel from God with other people. I am searching for the perfect opportunity to do this. I have had several suggestions and thoughts. I know that God will provide me with the perfect answer. This is also out of my comfort zone.

3. My next issue is my job. I love my clients, and the people I work with directly. It's everything else that I am struggling with. I have been here almost 11 years and I just don't know what to think about things now. Of course we are going through a merger, and it's emotionally draining. There are days that I don't even want to get out of bed. This is not like me at all. I have felt that God was leading me away from my job for a while now. What to do, what to do?

4. My last issue is with Brayden. He will be having surgery in December. He has a thyroglossal duct cyst and a brachial cleft cyst. He will be having them removed along with his tonsils. This is great in the fact that when he gets sick, he will no longer get the huge knot on his neck. However, he is my baby and I'm scared. I just want to make sure this is the right thing to do. The other good note on this is that there is a CHANCE that his ADHD will be better after removing his tonsils. Wouldn't that be a HUGE blessing??!!!

I pray for clarity and guidance. I pray for peace and comfort.

Frustration and a Prayer

Where do I even start??? My sister is driving me crazy. I really thought that this time she really wanted to turn her life around, start over, and really do something. As most of you know, my nephews came to live with us for a few weeks. My sister then came to get them. While she was here, we met with Randall. Randall prayed over her and really encouraged her to look to God for answers on whether or not she needed to be where she was at or if she needed to move back here. He prayed for clear signs. Well, within 24 hours we had already found her a job (it was a sure thing) and had worked it out that she would come stay with us for a while. So she decided to head back home on Tuesday with the intent of coming back here to live on Friday. Well, Friday comes and goes. No sister. Saturday comes and goes....No sister. Sunday comes and goes....No sister. Monday, she calls crying about how she is down to one diaper and just can't stay another night there. She really wants to come back here where she can get some help and be around family. So again, Quentin and I rush out send her the very last of the money we have in our checking account. We talk to her again and she says she would be leaving in a few hours to come back here. After talking with her we both decided that maybe it wouldn't be such a great idea for her to drive in the dark. She has just started some new meds that make her really tired. So she tells me to text her when I'm leaving my house on Tuesday to wake her up. So I did and she calls me right back. She says that she is going to get the boys ready and run to her storage unit and then leave town to head back here. Well several hours go by and no call. I sent her a text with my 800 number on it so that it wouldn't cost her or anyone else if she called me. Still nothing. She then calls me at 3:00 on Tuesday saying that she would be leaving in an hour and she would call before she left. Well guess what.....no call. Late last night I get a call saying she was going to leave at Midnight and would be here by 5:00 when I would be getting out of bed. She even said that she would just knock on our door to wake us when she got here so that we didn't have to leave the door unlocked. Well, I told her we would just leave it unlocked. All night I tossed and turned worried to death about her. At 5:00 I jumped up out of the bed, ran to the living room and nothing... I have sent her several text messages and still nothing. For some reason she can receive a text, but can't make calls from her phone. Frustration.... What do I do? I've prayed and prayed and asked for guidance on this whole situation. I know that I still need to give it over to God. I just don't get it. How can she just not show and just not call. Not only am I worried but so many of my friends are. Randall has called several times to see what was up and every time I just tell him, "I just don't know." Please pray for her. Pray for conviction on her heart. Pray for us to have understanding and show my sister the grace shown for us. We truely love her and want to help her. I would give anything to make sure she was taken care of and that she doesn't hurt.

Father God, we just adore you and thank you daily for the grace and compassion that you show us each day. We pray that Shena and the boys are okay and that you show her where you want her. We pray that you guide her and that she listens to you. We pray that you teach us to have the compassion that you have. We pray for understanding in this matter. Father God, thank you. Thank you for your love and mercy. In your son's precious name, Amen.

Sick Again

Well, I had to take Brayden to the doctor today. He has an area on his neck that will swell and it causes him a lot of pain. After going back through his medical records with the doctor today, we saw that he has been to the doctor for this issue 4 times over the past year. 3 of those times was within the past 6 months. Every time we go, we are told that it's a bacterial infection and they give him antibiotics. After the doctor saw the golf ball size knot on his throat today, he decided that it was time for us to see an ENT. Our doctor thought that it could be one of 3 things in his opinion. It could be an abcess, a cyst, or cancer. He said he really didn't think it was cancer due to the fact that we can treat it with antibiotics and it goes away. He felt that it could be either of the other 2. Needless to say we have to see the ENT on Friday. I've decided to take off the entire day so that I can just tend to Brayden and his needs. I think that he needs that special attention and his daddy is even going to take off part of the day. Keep us in your prayers. I'll keep everyone updated.

FRIDAY, Whew!!

IT'S FRIDAY!!!! Yeah!!! I'm so glad it is the weekend. Not that we will get much rest this weekend, but just the fact that we will be with family and friends is awesome. We have a very busy weekend that will start at 4:30 today. Brayden is coming home from camp! Yeah!!! We missed him so much. Brayden is such a wonderful child. He is so loving, caring, and enthusiastic. It has been very quiet in our house since he has been gone. Both Brayden and us needed the time away from each other. It just makes us appreciate our time together more. After picking Brayden up this afternoon, then it's a mad dash home to change clothes, grab kids, and head up to the church to help set up for the garage sale tomorrow. Then at 6:30 in the morning (you heard me 6:30!!) I have to be back up at the church for the grand opening of the garage sale. After I spend the entire day there (6:30 am to ???), do you think I will get to rest? I'm afraid not, it's just on to the next event. Sunday is normally our day of rest. Well, let me fill you in people, not this Sunday. We have to attend both services at church and then Sunday evening we are participating in a focus group for the children's ministry at church. I guess there's no rest for the weary. Whew, I'm already tired and it hasn't even begun.

Dear Parents......

Well things have been crazy at the Brown's house. If you read my previous post, and have seen us in public you know why. With 5 kids at home, it has been an absolute zoo. We have toys everywhere, people everywhere, clothes everywhere, bottles everywhere.... I'm sure you are getting the picture. It's been wild. We really need to get some order to our house soon. Tyler is really struggling with our situation right now. He wrote us a note and it started out like this, "Dear Parents." Well, it wasn't Dear Mom and Dad, Dear Loved Ones, nope it was Dear Parents. He basically told us he was stressed out and frustrated with how our lives have changed over the past week. Quentin and I are really focusing on teaching the kids that we all have to sacrifice to take care of these 2 precious boys. We have stressed that this is what families do for each other. We step up and we help out. It has been a challenge, but we have really enjoyed having our nephews in our house. I pray for Tyler to find peace and comfort during this tough time. I pray that he sees that family is so important and that we need to take care of these children as if they were our own. I pray that each of my kids sees that the bond of family is so strong that we will open our lives up to help each other out.

5 Boys.....

Well, my sister is going through some major issues in her life right now. We are keeping Shena's two boys until she is able to come and take care of them. She is really struggling and needing lots of prayers. Several of you know her story and I just ask that you cover all of us with prayer right now. This is going to be a huge adjustment for each of us. I am so glad that God has opened the door for us to be able help with the boys. I know that Shena will be working hard to get things going in the right direction so that she can come and get her boys. Thanks to the Blackwell's for making the long trip to NM and back in one night with us. We wouldn't have been able to stay awake without you guys. Thanks to Renay and Kathy for the prayers all the way there and home. We had a safe trip and now we are trying to get everyone settled. 5 boys in one house is a little scary to me, but I know that God will provide for us.

Wow!

I have been personally struggling lately with how much everything has gone up. (I know I'm not the only one out there!) I was recently visiting with a family member and she told me that I needed to think of this in a different way. I was sitting there thinking, "Different way??? How can I look at this in a different way?"

She said, "What are you doing as a result of not being able to afford gas?"

My reply, "We have to stay home all of the time (except going to work), and we only leave to go to Church."

She replied, "Exactly!" She said, "You are being made to spend time with your family and only going out to worship God."

I have to admit I sat there for a minute and let it soak in. Maybe this is what God is wanting all of us to do. We have all gotten to a point where we just run and do whatever we want. We are losing that connection with our family and with our church family. We need to refocus, and maybe this is God's way of telling us to do that. I know that we are all going to continue to complain about gas prices, grocery prices, and just the cost of living. Maybe we should also rejoice in the knowledge that we are getting this special time with our families and we are being shown that we also need our church families.

I hope this blesses each of you as it has me. Love you all!

VBS

I just want to thank each one of you that helped with VBS this week. My kids have had a wonderful week and have been blessed so much by the love you have given them. Thank you so much for sharing the love of Christ with them. I remember going to VBS as a child and how much I loved it. Thank you. I know you will receive a special blessing.